sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
