My brain says no but my pants say off.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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