Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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