dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
