You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
