She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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