Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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