OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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