Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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