Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
