hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize