Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
they're like a gay fantastic four
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
