they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
