Its about making memories worth repressing
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
