dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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