i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
