i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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