im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
