Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
