if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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