I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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