The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
