u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
