I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
