return my video game
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
