her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
