People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
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Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
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Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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