so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
