i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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