DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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