Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think I just sharted jello shots
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