Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize