dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
