I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
