i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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