its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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