you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
