Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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