I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
