I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
