return my video game
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
