i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
