Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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