You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
