Whod you bang
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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