Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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