420 ftw
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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