therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
