I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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