So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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