Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
3pm strippers are depressing
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
