Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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