You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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