I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
