Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
