that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize