My friends, they love my intelligence
Sober January is a disaster.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
