i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
