dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
