why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
